Baptist Taliban and Beyond

THE BIRTH OF HEALING

2012-02-15T20:51:00.000-08:00

I was asked recently about how and when I began to heal.

It was a good question and one I hadn’t really considered. But to my surprise, the answer came easily as well as instantly. So, I thought I’d elaborate a bit more on this subject of my healing in a blog post.

The much abbreviated answer is, “My healing really began...

when I opened a book.”

Of course, there was more to it than that, so here’s the rest of the story.

About six months after our dramatic departure from this assembly we refer to as “The Baptist Taliban”, I was meandering around in a small, local Christian bookstore. It was a simple pleasure that I had always thoroughly enjoyed- but never more than at this time.

I had several school-aged children then, so much of my days were given to ‘efforts’ at home schooling them. It was exhausting! Especially since all still doing school work were dedicatedly resistant to anything that even resembled a book, so I was often desperate for such ‘mindless wandering’ breaks.

Still processing the pain from all that had happened during the months before and by now acutely aware that I no longer had any friends, I found this little bookstore to be a calming sedating, inviting retreat. Skimming over the new books was also a welcome distraction from my constant, intrusive thoughts.

While scanning the titles, I happened upon one that instantly caught my attention. Two words--‘spiritual abuse’--were in the title of one particular book. Spiritual abuse? Really? I didn’t have to wonder at all what that meant, but I wasn’t sure just what to think of the idea.

I stood there staring at the book, not quite able to pick it up, but curious, perplexed, intrigued, even kind of embarrassed...all in the same instant- probably more embarrassed at the mere terminology than anything else.

After all, we had drawn such hard-lined, dogmatic conclusions about the very existence of mental illness as opposed to The Preacher’s belief that unconfessed sin was the only biblical explanation for emotional/mental problems, that I found the idea of ‘spiritual abuse‘ almost laughable! ‘Spiritual abuse’, indeed! Ridiculous!

Must be the contemptuous work of some atheist or worse, liberal theologian! I tried to dismiss it and walk away. Try as I might, I could not stop thinking about those two words that kept luring me back to the shelf where the book stood tall and conspicuous.

I wanted to pick it up, to open it out of intense curiosity, but I didn’t want to for fear someone would see me. I kept thinking, “What if someone from the church came in and saw me looking through a book about something as anti-God sounding as ‘spiritual abuse’?

They’d think I was on the lunatic fringe for sure! There’s no chance at all I’d be taken seriously then-even if by some miracle I was ever given the opportunity to explain myself.”

And I so wanted to explain, at least to those I considered my friends, that our...that MY decision to leave was valid, necessary, most importantly, Spirit led. I so wanted... so hoped... for my ‘friends‘ to understand.

Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I snatched the book, found a secluded corner... and opened it.

I did with this book what I did with every book that captured my attention. I read over the contents page; I flipped through the pages following- reading chapter titles and subtitles, scanning over areas where certain key words jumped out at me .

I could hardly process all that I was seeing! Chapter titles like: “Because I’m the Pastor, That’s Why!”, “Image is Everything” and “Straining Gnats, Swallowing Camels”. It was if someone had written a first-hand account of our very own Baptist Taliban experiences! This author understands!

Then there were abuse-identifying terms in reference to particular kinds of pastors. Words such ‘pastors’ use frequently to establish themselves as the authorities they desire to be to their congregations like: ‘Representatives of God’ and ‘spiritual authority’.

Then there were the buzz words that I immediately recognized as consistent with our experience: fear, shame, manipulation, distortion of the Gospel, formulas, legalism and many more.

Once I got the taste of validation revealed on every page, I could not help but yearn for more. Before I had even read it, I knew this book contained answers...answers to questions I had not yet even known to ask.

Towards the end of the Introduction by Jeff Vanvonderon was a definition. I read it and realized, without question, this is exactly what we had endured and survived....Spiritual Abuse.

“Spiritual abuse occurs when someone is treated in a way that damages them spiritually. As a deeper result, their relationship with God-or that part of them that is capable of having a relationship with God-becomes wounded or scarred.”

The full title was, “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse” by Jeff Vanvonderen. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0764201379/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

I went home with that book.

It was only the first of many more to follow. It was the beginning of a long process that I have no problem calling, ‘deprogramming’, because that is literally what it was... and still is.

But, it was and is... a new beginning and the birth of my healing.

QUESTIONS? ACCUSATIONS? REVELATIONS? IT'S YOUR TURN

2012-01-21T22:38:00.000-08:00

I remember a particular discussion Paul and I had with The Preacher and his wife a few years before we left the church.

We were discussing how aggravated we were at the ease with which members could leave. Being convinced that ours was ‘the only right’ church in the area, we believed we had the right to incorporate whatever means necessary to discourage anyone suspected of wanting to leave from doing so...for their own good, of course. Nothing worse than “church hoppers”, after all.

I believe it was The Preacher who first suggested (as I am sure he had been thinking on it for some time) members wanting to leave the church be invited and encouraged--even urged to come before the church and state why they were leaving.

Surely, by doing so they would realize their error once they found themselves in the awkward, uncomfortable position of having to explain their decision to remaining fellow members.

Surely this would cause not only the ones leaving but any others in the congregation who might be thinking of leaving, to reconsider....surely....

So we supported the idea and The Preacher made it policy.

But truth is, there was little chance that once ones were set on leaving, any such endeavor would change their minds. We knew that. So it was really more about retaliation.

It may have been around this time that The Preacher decided he would no longer grant letters to churches that the departing members joined, unless these members had moved to another area too far to travel back and forth and unless the church was an independent fundamental Baptist church of like faith and practice. Just another disguised ploy to keep people in.

Then, when it came our turn to leave...strangely...the ‘policy’ suddenly changed.

We were more than willing to explain to the church why we were leaving. We didn’t even intend to take advantage of the opportunity to reveal anything that would raise suspicions. We just wanted to explain that we believed the Lord leading us to help in another struggling work in a neighboring town. We could be sent off into the sunset after saying our ‘Good-byes’ and none would be the wiser. That’s all.

What sense would it make for us to stir up more trouble? We wanted to keep our friends. We wanted to restore our families. We had no desire to ‘hurt’ anybody. We had no desire to hurt the church.

When my husband presented this option to The Preacher, as a way to minimize possible damage....he declined. “I’ll take care of it,” he said. And he did. Now, we know just how well THAT worked for him.

Even after all this time, I am sure there are members from that time who are still there, who have questions, accusations, rebukes, warnings, revelations....whatever....for us. For those who had some things they would like to have asked or stated to us at the time, but were compelled for whatever reason to remain silent,

I have a challenge for you.

If there is anything you would like to ask or say to Paul or I, I am inviting you to do so now.

You can comment anonymously.

This is YOUR chance to be heard.

Be as rough as you want.

And, just to make this even more interesting, let’s open this up to any outside the Baptist Taliban.

Do it NOW, or forever hold your peace!

ME AND POLITICS

2012-01-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

I am in something of a quandary.

I am not sure I can support any of the conservative candidates for president. I don’t even think I can be faithful to my conscience and continue endorsing much of the conservative political beliefs, particularly the ones having to do with the economy and even some of the social positions.

This may put me ‘out on a limb‘ with some of my Christian conservative friends, and certainly makes for some edgy discussion with my husband, but pretense for the sake of acceptance doesn’t work very well for me for several reasons which I may or may not reveal. I haven’t decided yet.

So, I am going to come clean.

I hope my friendships will survive. I am happy to say that my marriage is still thriving-- touchy political discussions notwithstanding. I have found my husband remarkably willing to relax some of his more ultra-conservative political positions, though there are some on which he remains firm. That’s okay. Some diversity between us has actually added some extra spice. But I am a good bit more unsettled than he is.

First of all, I must confess, I just did not like the whole Tea Party thing.

Maybe it’s because it was marketed as ‘Christian’ as well as conservative--supposedly good things--but conversely anti- everything ‘Obama’. I am not saying at all that I am in favor of President Obama’s political ideologies, but the derogatory labels I have heard within my own community of Christian, Tea Party friends and acquaintances as well as those I have seen on the news are still unacceptable even in politics.

Attaching Nasty brands of ‘anti-Christ, Hitler, socialist, fascist, half-breed Muslim, Nazi and dictator just to name a few are well outside what I believe to be ‘Christ’-like‘ behaviors and attitudes towards anyone based simply on their political ideologies and beliefs--much less the President of the United States.

From what I can see, I do not believe Mr. Obama is aspiring towards any of these evil persuasions neither do I believe anyone is qualified to accuse his motives. Regardless of how fervently one hates his politics, I believe he truly desires (however misguided) this country’s good.

Our interest as believers and followers of Christ in the governing of our Nation can be expressed with passion without intended insult. Just because one is ‘right‘ does not give that one the right to abuse--verbally or otherwise. It appears to me that the Tea Party participants at town hall meetings and such have behaved abusively at times. I do not want to be identified with such a ‘movement’.

As for the conservative candidates themselves, there are many articles written by professing Christians as well as not, which expose Reconstructionist/dominionist foundations in their education and training.

For those who are unfamiliar with Reconstructionism, you can learn about it here: http://www.brucegourley.com/christiannation/theocracy.htm

First of all, for those who are Premillinnialists, Reconstructionism is a direct contradiction. The Reconstructionist believes that American will be brought ‘back to God’ by placing Christians in positions of governmental authority which will prompt the return of Christ to earth. They believe that America was intended to be a ‘Christian’ nation and that it must be returned to a Theocracy and the Constitution should be used to enforce Old Testament Moral Laws and penalties. Ultimately that would mean capital punishment via stoning for homosexuals, adulterers, blasphemers, atheists, witches, rebellious sons and other such ‘crimes’.

Radical, extremist ‘fundamentalist Islam, and extreme, fundamentalist reconstructionist/dominionist ‘Christianity’ appear to be alarmingly alike in these areas.

Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry and Rick Santoreum all have suspicious connections to notable Reconstructionists R. J. Rushdoony, C. J. Mahoney, John Eidsmoe and others.

Now, I understand that by being connected to or as particularly Michelle Bachmann being a student of Reconstructionist teachers,http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/08/15/110815fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=alldoes not mean that once at the helm, any would straightway institute ‘stoning rebellious sons’, but it does cause me to suspect their beliefs about our purpose as Christians in this world. Any person or ideology that purports a human being can bring the country to a place of righteousness through OT Law thereby actually prompting the return of Christ through those human efforts is suspect with me.

A Theocratic government would be fine with me, as long as it is God Himself ruling, or if he speaks directly, unmistakably, miraculously to a modern-day ‘Moses’ as he did to Moses. Otherwise, our country would be no different, no better off than Afghanistan under the Taliban.

I am also suspicious given the fact that I have heard The Preacher of the Baptist Taliban verbally, emphatically promote the same ambitions. Wonder where he was getting these ideas? Perhaps he’d been reading Rushdooney’s writings? Now, I am finding quite a bit written about professing Christian presidential candidates at the least ‘flirting’ with those same political beliefs and that makes me wonder if this persuasion isn’t more widely entertained than just by a rabid, fire-breathing preacher.

And, since I have suffered plenty personally from one professing such ambitions, naturally I am going to be extra apprehensive.

Admittedly, I am NO expert on politics. I can’t even claim to be well-versed on the current issues. What I am sharing here has more to do with ‘impressions’ I am getting as an onlooker-by-choice. And, those impressions are of a religious/social/economic ‘class’ of our population who are perhaps overly preoccupied with their economic comfort, objection of and desire to eradicate all behaviors they interpret as immoral, and fervor to champion anyone claiming to be a ‘born-again Christian’. So much so that neglect to look beyond the surface images.

I am not saying these concerns are wrong, just an effective diversion and obstacle to our main purpose--to “love God, love our neighbors as ourselves, pray, bless, do good to (even) our enemies, give our cloak also if they sue for our coats, go the extra mile for, and offer our other cheek when smitten on the one.

I believe these are higher goals to which we should aspire. Who knows. Perhaps by giving more attention to the Jesus Way, we can have a better America than ever could be achieved by human efforts.

Oh, and about being a pretender. Well, truth is....I just stink at it, even when it is sanctioned-- as in acting out a part for a skit etc. Also, I am just completely burned out on denial. Seems I was the last to know that I was living in it, but once I figured it out, I was done...for good.

For more about Reconstructionism/dominionism:

http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v08n1/chrisre1.html

http://www.npr.org/2011/08/09/139084313/the-books-and-beliefs-shaping-michele-bachmann

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/02/ron-paul-s-christian-reconstructionist-roots.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7ocdAIXrUU

THE BEST WORD ON CHILD DISCIPLINE

2012-01-05T12:25:00.000-08:00

I am reposting this article with permission from the author.

It is rare that I find an explanation of the purpose and foundation for a ‘God-modeled‘ gentle, non-coercive process of disciplining children that so closely describes what I believe.

Few would argue that most young couples approach parenting, automatically instituting the same practices as was performed by their parents, and they by their parents, passing on the same bad habits and false teachings from generation to generation.

Most probably never even question enough to investigate the foundations for those teachings and practices.

If children, being eternal spirits, are to be valued as gifts-- heritages from God Himself, we should make our knowledge of how God would have us parent them our utmost priority. Yet, I fear that more time is spent studying how to train our pets than how to nurture our children into healthy, happy, committed adults.

It is vital that anyone entering parenthood know more about the subject of discipline than just ‘what methods work’. After all, we are not training animals here!

My hope is that information such as this will provoke more parents, pastors, teachers and anyone else in the child care profession to reconsider any and all conventional attitudes and practices regarding the discipline of children as to whether they are consistent with the way God parents.

You may be surprised to discover that many of those long-held and passionately defended beliefs are preserved more for our pleasure than our children’s profit. Hebrews 12:10

The Moral Claim of Discipline

Posted on January 3, 2012 by C.L. Dyck

Unfortunately there have always been a very small number of unreasonable, crazy, or besotted parents who beat up their own children. This is a matter of the greatest sadness, and the full force of the law should be used in punishment. But to say we should outlaw all spanking because some parents are rotten, is like saying we should outlaw all policing because some cops are rotten, or all laws because some are badly applied. The first step is to make the right distinctions…

Is it so illogical to spank a child who hits? Well, once we agree that spanking has a crucial moral component that hitting lacks by definition, then when all else fails it is legitimate to use a small pain now, a moral reminder, to prevent a greater future pain. Pre-emptive pain is a universal concept justified in law. It is used within nations and between them all the time to prevent catastrophes and rebellions, and all criminal law relies utterly on the fear of pre-emptive pain.

-William Gairdner (read full essay here)

Whether or not one agrees with physical discipline, and whether or not one agrees with Bill Gairdner, Gairdner here pins the tail on the donkey. Discipline of any kind claims a moral ground, and without a moral ground, becomes irrelevant–a mere gesture or a hollow tradition.

Here, too, we see the point of confluence between theology, philosophy, ethics and social theories on discipline. There is one core point here which applies equally to self-discipline, the regulation of society, and the raising of offspring, and that’s whether objective moral values and duties exist or not.

If they don’t, then all parental input (and all social input, and all self-motivation) comes into question.

What is Discipline?

The ultimate purpose of discipline is to instill a moral framework, a way of being. Discipline has the good of the student as its goal. Punishment has no such component, being about retribution (the self-satisfaction of the punisher). Punishment is arbitrary, based on the ability to exercise power and on personal whim or preference. A child hits for the self-satisfaction of punishing. A parent disciplines to teach.

This distinction, not whether discipline encompasses a physical component (are handcuffs on a nonviolent prisoner physical? Are they moral?) is the defining nature of the discipline process.

How is Discipline Formulated?

But children are not mules to be trained, and they are not blank slates to be written on (a concept that’s not historically Christian, but modernist). The qualitative moral difference between an untaught child and an offending adult of reasonable mental capacity is what invokes the logic of gentle parenting, rather than a flat baseline of physical correction of all children for all (or even most) offenses. Again, we’re talking about invoking a moral valuation here. What is the child’s true learning need? How is teaching best implemented for that individual child?

When is Discipline Morally Valid?

"discipline and driving"

The difference between discipline and punishment doesn’t reside in the offense of the child, the treatment of the child or the opinion of the parent. It resides in the moral framework.

It’s no wonder, then, that a society whose morality is entirely relativist, entirely based on “personal empowerment,” arbitrary whim, and the exercise of one’s opinion, has little to no capacity to recognize discipline and differentiate it from punishment. And this is not a question of physicial versus non-physical discipline. The only way to outlaw all parental punishment forever is to outlaw parenting; parents who react to children for their own self-satisfaction will continue to do so in nonphysical ways as well as physical.

Nowhere has this been more clearly illustrated than amid the professing church, where all grace is available, and yet sinful people still have the choice of whether to act for self-interest or self-sacrifice.

Christianity Under Fire

It’s no wonder that the Christian community, which lays claim to an objective standard of moral values and duties, comes under extra criticism when caught out in the exercise of power and arbitrary opinion for the purpose of self-satisfaction. Christian gentle-parenting advocates are entirely correct in opposing such spiritual and moral dishonesty.

Our problem as Christians is not ultimately our theology of punishment, our theology of discipline, or our theology of parenting. At a base level, our problem is our lack of theology. Period. Theology, after all, is the knowledge and study of God.

Where is the Discipline Rationale Found?

If evil exists, then objective moral values and duties exist. That is, I have a duty to evaluate evil and to act to prevent and/or correct it. If objective moral values and duties exist, then we can surmise that good exists in an objective form.

But where is good located? In the right arm of the spanking parent? In social consensus? In a Lawbook In The Sky to which God must refer and defer in order to judge our hearts and actions?

In the power and arbitrary whim of God?

Or is God a non-ultimate mediator of some external legal proclamation to which even He must bow?

Neither. Rather, biblical Christianity holds that God is the Good. His character and nature define good and eliminate from “the good” that which is not in keeping with His personal nature. This is neither arbitrary, nor does it reduce God to something less than the Universal Law.

Who (or What) is the Source of the Moral Imperative?

If we believe that God and man do not have an innate nature–that humanity in the image of God is a blank slate waiting to be acted upon by life’s events and urgings–then we are caught on the horns of Euthyphro. Either God is non-ultimate, or He is arbitrary. Both of these solutions destroy the moral framework of Christian theism, because they invoke either a God who’s not really God (the Law is), or a good that’s not really good (i.e. in another scenario, God might have decided murder and torture are good).

Furthermore, the moral claim of discipline is that it instills inward principle, not necessarily obedience to others. Here we run into another test between discipline and punishment: is the goal an independent moral rectitude, or merely unquestioning obedience to an authoritarian enforcement of external morality?

Here the deepest need of the child is revealed: free access to the grace of God, and freedom to choose or reject it without coercion. Today’s free rejection may be tomorrow’s free repentance; but today’s coercion will certainly be tomorrow’s moral chaos. We cannot set ourselves in the place of God. And even more importantly, if it is against God’s nature to coerce, we cannot set ourselves against God by demanding unquestioning obedience.

Ultimately, true Christian discipline must teach children that their parents are not the final authority, are not always correct in administering discipline, and are not always 100% to be obeyed. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Rom. 3:23) It’s for this reason that pastors are not mediators for their congregants, and parents are not mediators for their children: for there is one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. (1 Tim. 2:5)

The goal of discipleship is to get out of the way of God’s work in another human being’s life: our child’s. Only personal relationship with God can unify obedience and moral right–getting to know Him as a personal God with an innate character. We find moral rectitude in knowing and obeying God; not man, who can never provide sufficient moral basis.

That is the ultimate moral claim of discipline: that God exists.

Image credits:

flying sidekick by kaibara87 on Flickr | License: CCBY2 discipline and driving by Mike “Dakinewavamon” Kline on Flickr | License: CCBY2

TIME FOR A LITTLE CHANGE

2012-01-03T15:15:00.000-08:00

I have begun this year by making a slight adjustment to my blog title.

I want to assure my readers that my focus is not only on my past, but on the effects my past experiences have had on our present and on-going, ever evolving beliefs and practices.

It is a wise saying and one I agree with:

“The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.”

Wendell Berry

I truly believe that it is our obligation to others to pass on the lessons our painful regrets and glorious successes have taught us. This is how we make something better come of the things we cannot change.

I would also like to reassert my purposes for continuing to write on topics that one might guess would appear where a shadowy moniker of “Baptist Taliban” is applied. That being, there continues to be many ‘Taliban’ like groups masquerading as churches in the world today. What is worse is that most involved in such groups would never entertain the possibility that the attitudes towards women, teens and children they have embraced largely by default, are abusive.

It is automatically assumed that where no physical signs of abuse exists, there is no abuse. But spiritual, emotional and psychological abuse is still abuse whether obvious or successfully hidden.

We can no longer allow this to remain a forbidden subject simply because it exists in what is considered our ‘sacred’ institutions.

But there is a more personal reason I am compelled to continue. And that is, there are still families, members, who do not speak to their flesh and blood relatives--most of whom are their own children--years after they left the group.

I can remember, distinctly, sitting through sermons where The Preacher preached emphatically that members should avoid anyone-even family-who criticized, scorned, objected to, made fun of, etc-the beliefs of ‘The Church’. It was taught that their church’s authority was equivalent to God’s authority so it would only follow that his remaining members would continue to practice this on their ex-member family and friends. There is NO question he did this. There are many witnesses.

So far, there is no evidence that he has made any effort at all to encourage any attempt at a reconciliation between these family members though it is 5 to 10 years later!

He has even denied that he ever told anyone to ostracize their family, so if that is what he wants us to believe, why does he refuse/neglect to utilize his influence towards their working at some semblance of reconciliation?

As long as he goes on living his life in denial of his responsibility for such abominable division, I will go on writing about it. At least, as long as it is what I feel I should do.

So with that, it’s business as usual!

ON FORNICATORS AND MISFITS

2011-12-31T11:31:00.000-08:00

1It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

2And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.

3For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed,

4In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,

5To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

6Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?

7Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:

8Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

9I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:

10Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.

11But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

Have you ever found yourself in the all too common uncomfortable situation where you scrambled for a ‘fashionable’ way out of doing the right thing, simply because it was uncomfortable for you? You know... like declining an invitation to hang out with a socially awkward or otherwise ‘flawed’ person because your house needed cleaning, you had a previous engagement, you were feeding the homeless or some other similarly noble, urgent excuse?

This is similar to what we (the elite leaders) did on a regular basis in the Baptist Taliban. We even perfected it to an art, formulating ‘scriptural‘ justification for such things as not including any spiritually ignorant ‘immodestly‘ dressed young woman in our ‘spiritual’ cliques, though we certainly had more digestible ways of explaining it.

“She probably just wants to cause trouble; She wouldn’t be able to handle our standards; She might be a bad influence on the weaker ones,” blah, blah, blah. Spiritualized excuses....

It was also useful for justifying our rejection of anyone who questioned, challenged, opposed or just plain didn’t fit in with us.

Then, there were those whose actions were expressly frowned upon by The Preacher, but not so expressly prohibited by scripture, particularly the ones he came to view as morally questionable. They were even more deserving of exclusion because they had a “spirit of rebellion”.

It got to where the list of ‘moral’ sins were ever broadening to include actions NOT specifically pronounced as such by scripture: single dating, physical displays of affection by non-married couples, leaving home before marriage, objecting to rules, questioning The Preacher’s teachings .... anything addressed in sermons but not enthusiastically heeded were actions noticeably increasingly agitating him and consequently treated as ‘immoral’.

So, it makes sense he and his followers would expand the meaning of I Corinthians 5 to include any actions he deemed would fit. Then, he could justifiably command those members who did not comply with HIS expanded interpretation be summarily delivered “unto Satan” and not be companied with...not even by their families. That way, he and his followers would not have to put up with the aggravation and embarrassment of dissension and its accompanying dissenters.

One such incident involved a young woman who had left the church with her family whose father told The Preacher face to face they were leaving. He even acknowledged and accepted their resignation. Months later, he found out that their daughter was living with her boyfriend in another state. She eventually went back to her home town and visited a couple of her grown, married friends who were still in the church. When learning of this, he decided after calling several affiliated churches in three different states to make sure she wasn’t ‘another church’s member’ to officially bring her name before his church and command the members have absolutely no contact with her whatsoever. Not even phone calls, emails, cards or letters. No contact period! His fear, of course, she might influence others to 'sympathize with her sin’.

Separating the “wheat from the tares” makes for a unified church and a unified church distinguishes the pastor as a spiritual icon in the world of Independent Baptist church-dom. Too bad if it needlessly, permanently squashes spirits in the process.

To be honest, though, I did struggle myself with this chapter’s teachings for quite a while even after leaving. I mean, a surface reading would render a prohibition for us as Christians from associating with and even eating with anyone known to be engaging in premarital sex if called a “brother” since “fornication” is without question defined as any and all sex outside of marriage.

But there’s also the troubling commands in the following verses to not company with a brother who is covetous, an idolator, railer, drunkard, and extortioner. When most attention and emphasis is given to ostracizing the “fornicators”, the rest of the violators hardly elicit a grimace.

Truth be told, how many “brothers” are guilty of some form of coveting, or even extorting (like manipulating people using something other than money)? Or how about the “idolators” when it is commonly preached that “idolatry” includes putting anything before God by: working on Sunday, missing church for sports events, rejecting The Preacher’s advice when fearing its ill effects on your family, or even disagreeing with particular standards held by the church?

Is The Preacher as vigilant to require his members “not to company” with those kinds of idolators? How about the manipulators? The drunkards? And, if we consider what a “railer” is, The Preacher himself would need to be dis-companied, since he “rails” on past members, other pastors and others on a regular basis-- not always being careful to tell the truth.

How do we reconcile all these inconsistencies without becoming the modern-day equivalent of the Spanish Inquisitors?

I have come to believe that the answer may lie in understanding the purpose of this chapter and if we should apply it in the same way today as then. Considering the weakness of the Corinthian church, it is easy to see why they needed such explicit directions. The sin of fornication cited was extreme (being incestuous and for its devastating effects on the others involved) by the Gentiles’ or even todays’ standards! It was commonly reported so it was no secret to the church what was going on, yet they remained “puffed up” about it, actually knowingly allowing it to continue.

Then, the very fact that the people of this church had no better discernment than that demonstrated the need for Paul’s sharp rebuke, stern response and restrictions. I do not believe that two people who have had or are continuing in a sexual relationship (particularly ones living in a committed relationship but not legally wed) are in the same category of wickedness as a man who openly commits incestuous adultery!

I also believe that Paul was given by God a special kind of authority for the establishment of the New Testament church that no longer applies. Our modern-day churches obviously can not be nor is meant to be governed in exactly the same way 2000+ years later. So, when a church such as the Baptist Taliban requires its members to shun certain people it marks as “fornicators” etc., it is picking and choosing to abide by only some of the New Testament church practices based on the Baptist Taliban’s particular prejudices.

For every area they claim to be consistent with the example of the New Testament churches, I can find at least one where they are not.

So, in essence, they are guilty of the same kind of exclusive acts as what I described in the beginning of this post, only they go a step further actually spiritualizing their elitism and punishing those judged the greater sinners.

In this age of grace, there is ample scriptural support for lavishing much of it on those who struggle, for whatever reasons. We are exhorted throughout the New Testament that “love covers a multitude of sins and charity (love) never fails. We are compelled to restore, reconcile, intreat as brothers (and sisters) and not rebuke, be patient, longsuffering, be slow to wrath and plenteous in mercy, be gentle with those who oppose themselves just to name a few.

After living through and watching the far-reaching consequences of the legalistic mindset, I have determined that if I am going to err, I would rather err on the side of grace. I just believe it is the safer choice, since I know that I am going to err in judgment somewhere down the line.

This is now my guiding principle and it has served me well because it continually reminds me that my flaws and sins are no less than anyone else’s. It also removes any justification I might fall back on, to judge a person by what I see on the outside and compare his/her deeds to mine--especially given my long history of doing just that.

Just as it is arrogant and wrong to excuse ourselves from befriending the social ‘misfits’, so is it wrong to think we are too ‘righteous’ to eat with sinners.

While I certainly can’t claim that I have arrived at the place where I have overcome the tendency to backslide in this area, I can claim that I don’t have the inner conflicts I had before--conflicts between feeling drawn to the ‘pariahs‘ and enjoying them for who they are and feeling from my past religious indoctrination that I am violating God’s expectations by doing so.

And I like that!

OPRAH AND ME ON 'KNOWING BETTER'

2011-12-01T00:27:00.000-08:00

“When you know better, you do better”, or so says Maya Angelou and Oprah.

However often it proves true, It is timely consolation to those of us who actually acknowledge the mistakes we’ve made. Some of those ‘mistakes’ may have been real doozies, but.... likely made out of ignorance, misguided youthful zeal or even sheer blindness; yet the regrets can be crippling.

For even as God’s beloved David, Psalmist and King, pled, “Remember not the sins of my youth”, Psalms 25:7

We can confidently accept this truth as permission to give ourselves a break.

Of all the mistakes I have made in my life, the most regrettable, far-reaching and agonizing had to do with parenting decisions.

But another statement Maya Angelou made to Oprah as she expressed deep regret over her past failures was, “You did then what you knew to do, but now that you know better you will do better”.

A healing salve to my soul! So simple but so very emancipating!

Sometimes I wonder why our child-bearing/rearing years don’t come at the latter part of our lives...when we have lived long enough to have-a-clue!

I also wonder if anybody really makes it through their childhood with all their mental and emotional faculties intact and thriving to full potential.

Even those who think themselves to be in all dimensions of their character, unscathed, are likely either deluded or narcissistic. I just find it hard to believe that there were and are that many young moms and dads judicious enough to navigate around all the parental booby-traps without the sage mentoring of predecessors who have ‘been there‘ and since, accurately identified their mistakes.

There are no ‘re-dos’ in parenting our children. But we can “do better” by first, admitting and repenting our errors to those on the receiving end...our children. Then, by gently and lovingly directing those adult children, the next generation of under- or over-zealous parents, away from extremism and toward balance.

For in this world where the lines between right and wrong are terminally blurred, often the very best we can attain....is balance. It is then, and only then that though we may not have “known better”, we can still “do better”.

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” James 4:17

THE JUDGE WHO BEAT HIS DAUGHTER

2011-11-08T22:44:00.000-08:00

I am posting this much circulated YouTube video of an Aransas judge beating his daughter for disobeying him. Hillary was caught downloading games and music on her computer from the internet which apparently was illegal at the time.

It is so revealing, though extremely difficult to watch, of how corporeal punishment all too often really looks and how the one administering it won’t likely remember its severity. In the heat of such a moment, who would? Except, undoubtedly, the one on the receiving end.

Corporal punishment, usually referred to as ‘spanking’, ‘whipping’, or as I have heard it called in the more ‘fundamental‘ churches, where the ‘biblical‘ term is proudly brandished-- ‘beating’, is such vital tenant of the faith that no one would dare tell if they opposed it. It is regularly and emphatically preached any parent not consistently ‘beating‘ their children as the primary mode of discipline hates them and will by neglect of it, doom them to hell. Perhaps this is what Judge William Adams believes since he believes he was only disciplining his daughter and didn’t see he did anything wrong.

Without a comprehensive study, it would seem upon a casual reading of certain Bible verses, to command us to ‘beat‘ our children. After reading Samuel Martin’s book, http://biblechild.com/ and other such studies, I no longer believe this to be true.

But I did not intend to argue here for or against ‘spanking’.

My intent is to give those who strike their young with a rod, belt, paddle, stick or like objects in this way and call it ‘discipline‘ an opportunity to switch places with Judge Adams and virtually witness just exactly what it might look like if they were the ones doing the beating. As you watch, ask yourself, “Do my ‘discipline‘ sessions look similar to this? minus the language of course. Have I ever witnessed anyone else beating their kids in this manner?

Though I can’t remember specific incidents of seeing someone beat their children in such a way myself, I have heard tell of it. I have even heard the parents themselves almost boasting of such beating sessions. I fear that this is probably not an isolated or exaggerated incidence. May I suggest that anyone answering “yes” to such questions are likely in need of some serious soul-searching?

If you have the courage, I hope you’ll take a long, hard look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl9y3SIPt7o&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fresults%3Fsearch_query%3Dhillary%2Badams%2Bbeating%26aq%3D1z%26oq%3Dhillar&has_verified=1

Were you shocked at how brutal it looked on tape? Did you feel any pangs of guilt? Did the judge’s remarks sound shockingly familiar? Have you, like me, heard statements when referring to such actions like: “I’m going to beat you into submission” as if this is a ‘Godly‘ act of righteousness?

If you even suspect you have dealt with any of your children in this way, you might very well have some confessing and repenting to do...to God AND your kids.

The girl in the clip, Hillary Adams, was interviewed on Anderson Cooper 360.

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/03/video-hillary-adams-i-finally-snapped/?hpt=ac_bn1

And part II

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/03/video-hillary-adams-my-father-is-in-denial/?hpt=ac_bn2

During the interview he read portions of a statement by her father, the judge. This was so telling. Did you notice the gas-lighting? He never really addressed his abhorrent behavior but tried to divert the scrutiny away from himself and on to Hillary by suggesting she had less than sincere motives for exposing him. He said basically that she was angry because he told her he would no longer support her and that she had to return the car to him. So typical. I declare! Abusing narcissists are all alike. Especially the ones with prestigious professions to salvage and images to maintain.

Here are his exact words:

“She's mad because I've ordered her to bring the car back, in a nutshell, but yeah, that's me. I lost my temper," Adams told the station. "Her mother was there, she wasn't hurt ... it was a long time ago ... I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child."

Adams continued: "In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized. It looks worse than it is."

The question of why Hillary was just now posting this video so many years after the fact, I think just verifies her stated motive which was, so that he would see what he did and get help. Had she publicized it at the time it occurred, he would surely have been relieved of his duties and been prosecuted since it would have been within the statutes of limitations. Hillary surely knew that he could not be prosecuted now as she stated that she did not expect much to come of it.

The most ironic part of his statement--”It looks much worse than it is”--precisely the point she is trying to make. To him, at the time, it was not all that bad, but upon actually seeing it? He refuses to accept it for what it was. By that very statement, he is proving her point. The video isn’t lying. It was as bad as it looked and even felt worse than it looked....to Hillary.

No matter what Hillary’s offenses were, there are numerous ways her father could have disciplined her--ways that would actually have been corrective. Taking a belt to her, pushing her down to a humiliating position of submission, verbally insulting and berating her and then coming back to further satiate his wrath, is NOT discipline.

It is assault.

And that is not even to mention the implications and inappropriateness of any man beating a 16 year old young woman! Oh the psychological issues that are known to occur from that alone! http://www.nospank.net/s-chrls.htm

One thing I have learned about men held in high esteem, like Judge William Adams. They will sacrifice anything and anybody before they’ll admit that they were wrong. Not just a, “Yeah, that’s me. I lost my temper,” so sue me attitude, but a “yeah, I was terribly wrong. I am so sorry. Period. No excuses. No explanations. No justifications. Just plain wrong.

Much damage could be alleviated; much respect could be restored, if only William Adams and others like him- preachers, attorneys, senators, congressmen, governors, mayors, law enforcement officials, military officials and even presidents could and would... just admit...

when they are wrong.

DEAR MR. PREACHER

2011-10-27T23:30:00.000-07:00

It has now been almost 12 years since The Great Shunning event you inflicted on our young people. The mass exodus it precipitated effectively divided family members who stayed from family members who left... including our two family’s lengthy and involved connection.

To this day about 10 of those families are still divided at varying degrees and some completely cut off from each other. An additional 10 family relationships were affected, some quite seriously...not even to mention the many friendships that were destroyed.

In a small church of around 175 regular members, that amounts to an overwhelming heap of pain and dysfunction! No matter what illusionary tactics you use to mask it or how passionately you deny it, your church is still seriously ill.

So, as you, I and many others know, YOU have the power to change this! Yet, you continue to refuse to utilize that power.

I, for myself, don’t have to ask you why. I don’t have to wonder how you justify this to yourself. I am quite sure I know the ‘why’ and the ‘how’. I just wonder if you even care or if you ever cared.

These families were not only connected by blood, but by the spiritual brother/sister bond in Christ...at least they were before so many were driven away. And YOU, as well as all of us who profess to be followers of Christ, are supposed to be ministers of reconciliation!

18And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

19To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

20Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God.

Even though you deny you have said or done anything to cause these families to reject their own flesh and blood because they left a church chosen, not by them, but by their parents or other family members, you know as well as we do that you have.

No matter how effectively you can and have asserted you are ‘right’, or denied responsibility altogether:

*You have preached while we were there that members should distance themselves from family who are not in agreement with your beliefs (though you would insist that you are only upholding scripture, it is still YOUR interpretation and YOU are NOT infallible!).

*You and your wife yourselves modeled this ‘distancing’ whenever anyone left the church as witnessed by myself and others.

*You and your wife openly criticized people who had left the church in public sermons/teachings and in personal conversations.

But the most compelling and incriminating proof is:

*You have set the example by continuing the excommunicating of your own son even though it has been 10 years since he left home and the church.

How can you possibly claim you are not responsible for fortifying and prolonging this division when you are still doing it to your own son?

I must add here that many of those rejected may not even want to reopen communications with the families that castigated them. They have grieved the loss and moved on and are doing very well- all injury aside.

But, there are others who do, but are not given the benefit of consideration...not even allowed to visit their young grandchildren...even under the watchful eyes of the parents. THIS IS INEXCUSABLE! The ‘hoops’ these people are expected to jump through are nothing more than manipulations and efforts to control.

If Christ being perfect and sinless gave his life to reconcile the world to Him, not even “imputing their trespasses unto them”, how can you being as wicked and lowly a sinner as anyone else refuse to at least make some effort towards reconciling these ‘castaways’ to their families still in your church?

There are people in your church who have questioned whether their ‘prodigal’ escapees were ever ‘saved’, including your own wife. If you and they really fear this, how can you abide cutting off the innocent little children born during their parents’ exile, from your communicating The Gospel to them? Have you excused yourself from any responsibility to them? If you believe all that you preach, how can you dismiss yourself from the influence you might have in their lives?

I personally do not believe that you really would be a positive force in their lives, but holding you to your own rhetoric, you are contradicting yourself in a huge way here, which makes you a hypocrite of the worst kind! Don’t think for one minute we haven’t noted it.

People have a God-given right to believe according to the dictates of their own hearts, whether you consider they be of God or not. It is an extreme abuse of the shepherding role, to hold for ransom their relationships simply to discourage people from leaving and to punish those who’ve already left.

And we BOTH KNOW your bottom-line motives as revealed by your acts and attitudes...to control those you still lead, and avenge yourself the ones who have left. Robert’s funeral is the documented proof of that.

It is one thing to make a choice to excommunicate your own son. You have chosen whatever discomfort you may suffer as a result. It is quite another to use ‘spiritual authority’ to persuade your followers-whether directly or indirectly- to do the same. You are so far removed from the pain they suffer, you can easily pretend it doesn’t exist. But it does exist and you can not deny responsibility.

You can command anything of these people. You command obedience of them and they submit to it willingly.

So, why don’t you command them to communicate with the family they are shunning?

Why?

How can you have no problem with commanding your members to:

*plan vacations around special meetings

*stay out of restaurants with bars

*not go to movies

*not rent movies

*not wear pants if a woman

*not wear shorts if a man

*not date without chaperone

*use only KJV Bible

*not send children to school-public or Christian

*not send children to college-secular or Christian

*not allow daughters to be employed outside the home

*not allow mothers to work outside the home

*listen only to local church-made Christian music

*etc. etc. etc.....

but not to command them to do the “weightier” matters of demonstrating love, justice, mercy and efforts at reconciliation to their own families?

These WERE rules while we were there and they were intrusions on the sanctity of our homes.

You have preached that you are the real shepherd and not a hireling, but truth is, you not only are NOT a true shepherd, but you are worse than a hireling. The hireling will flee when he sees the wolf, leaving the sheep at its mercy. But you. You ARE the wolf. YOU have devoured the sheep yourself.

They need not fear the wolves from the outside as much as The Wolf from within...the one in the shepherd’s clothing!

If you really love your members as you say, THEN SET THEM FREE by encouraging them to think and believe for themselves!!

CONTROL is never a substitute for LOVE!

For a sizable sample of this preacher's abuse of the pulpit, Go here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_Ab498XpD8

PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING PREACHER a modern day application

2011-10-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

Allow an insecure short man with a Messiah Complex and a chip on his shoulder too much authority, a platform, a loyal, devoted, committed congregation and you might very well create a monster. No matter how in need of acclaim he might be at the onset of his ‘ministry’ and no matter how well-intentioned your efforts to edify him appropriately as your ‘pastor’, eventually he will surely come to expect your reverence even taking it to a whole new level...one that will come back to haunt and terrorize you.

No one knows better than we do for this is precisely what happened to us.

I remember thinking of the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant as we were enduring the agonizing weeks of shunning pronounced on two members of our own family by just such a man, The Preacher.

It so perfectly applied:

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.

Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him and hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him. O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Now hear ye my modern-day interpretation of this parable as it applies to The Preacher.

Not long ago in the kingdom of the Baptist Taliban, The Preacher testified of what a wretched, wicked sinner he was before he accepted Christ. Many times over the years he recounted the story of his boyhood and what a very bad boy he was even at the tender age of six. He was so bad, in fact, that while at school he spent much time in the principle’s office. There was something in the way he described his youthful self that hinted of some dark, foreboding secret, an effort no doubt, to convince us that he truly was on a dreadful path.

Then one day, a missionary came and preached a sermon that included the story of a vicious tiger or lion, as I recall, which God used to convict him of his nasty, sinful condition and he was miraculously saved. His point always being that he, even as a six year old boy, was worthy of eternal torment in hell because of his astronomical debt. His debt was as great or greater, by his own summation, than the servant of Jesus‘s parable who owed the ten thousand talents.

After his conversion, he became the prodigious 'good-boy' opposite of his pre-converted self. His grades shot up, he behaved himself at school, and by his and his mother's accounts, his character was impeccable all through his growing years, shunning all appearance of evil even when teased by his peers. Yet there was a legalistic, pharisaical spirit emerging from all that exceptional behavior. A spirit as wicked as the worst acts he could ever commit.

He was not always so completely perfect, however. As a young pastor, he did some things that he later, as now, treats as foolish folly worthy of a sharp public rebuke at the very least. My husband and I were with him, so we know first-hand that on two occasions he watched R-rated videos with nudity in them at his house! He has also engaged in acts of "mixed bathing" with a couple in the church. There were even pictures of his wife in her bathing suit at the event. Now to most, this would seem so trivial--not even wrong at all and surely not worthy of mention, but you must understand that such behaviors are to his way of judging since--one step away from fornication.

Wouldn't it be reasonable to think that given these actions as a pastor, he would be more understanding of the much less consequential actions of young adults much younger than he was then?

But then it so happened that a group of young people danced at a private party. When their ‘crime’ was brought before him, he urged them to apologize before the church. This they willingly and sincerely did, but then he continued to question them one by one also forbidding them to talk to one another about it. His interrogations provoked unrest in them since they thought all was over and forgiven after the apology so, they talked.

Not exactly a sordid act of evil.

A week later, The Preacher subjected these young, searching souls to a very public, severe (his word) sentence of absolute shunning not only while at church, but also anywhere else. He considered it an act of grace on his part to not include their immediate family members in this prohibition.

Then we, his fellowservants seeing what The Preacher had done, were sorry and came to him before The Shunning and asked him if those to be shunned could be given mercy since they did seek forgiveness. He said, “No, they were warned on three occasions (in sermons and group lectures) so it is too late, I will not forgive them their debt.” We then asked him if he could give us some time to study for ourselves if his action was even scriptural. He said, “No, it has to be tonight”. As he was pronouncing his punishment on the accused, he judged their apology-- only a “token” one.

This preacher, though forgiven a tremendous debt by his own testimony, would not forgive the errors of the young people he was so graciously permitted the charge of shepherding.

I wonder what The Lord might be saying to him about this? Could He be allowing The Preacher to be a prisoner of his own body’s physical weaknesses? Could He have made The Preacher a prisoner of his own inability to admit he might have been wrong?

Could He be allowing The Preacher to stagnate spiritually, emotionally and mentally unable to mature in all those areas beyond what he was when he refused to forgive? Could he be a prisoner to his lack of compassion for those who do not agree with him? Could he have been delivered to the torment of his own spirit?

There are few worse ways to be imprisoned!

So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. Matthew 18: 35

A poignant reminder for all of us.....

UNJUST JUDGES AND CRYING SURVIVORS

2011-10-04T22:37:00.000-07:00

As long as mankind lives on this earth, there will be injustice. The worst, unfortunately, will always be directed at the most defenseless...namely women and children... among so many others.

In New Testament times men treated women and children more like possessions than equal human beings as it was, but let one become widowed and her status in society took and even lower dive. Unless she remarried or had a son to take care of her, she was virtually invisible concerning any question of rights.

In the majority of the Worlds’ religions, not much has changed in 2000 years....

I am often reminded of the Parable of the Persistent Widow as I follow the efforts of survivors of the Christian gulag-like teen facilities, who work to expose the countless and varied abuses committed against them as some of the most defenseless in this sector of our American society and who labor to bring their offenders to justice. They cry out not only for themselves, but for the voiceless and defenseless still institutionalized in unaccountable, unregulated encampments.

It is right that they persist. No one should ever criticize them for making noise...a lot of it.

To illustrate how we should never give up on seeking justice, Jesus gave this spirited little parable about a particular widow who had suffered a great injustice, but persistently appealed to an uninterested judge to render the appropriate action to bring it about.

It is found in Luke 18:

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;

Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man:

And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary.

And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man;

Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.

And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith.

And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them?

I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?

I must say that I almost find this humorous! I mean, can’t you just see it? The judge doing everything he can to ignore this woman. I can imagine him hiding when he sees her coming. Perhaps she stands outside his place of work, yelling her complaints so that all can hear to his utter embarrassment. Or, maybe she has made some sort of ancient picket sign and marches in protest. It is just so funny to me, thinking of how she ‘troubled’ and ‘wearied’ him...poor guy...

But no matter what he does, he can’t escape her cries and realizes that even though he doesn’t fear her God, nor does he care about her suffering, he is going to continue being bothered... pestered until he grants her what she seeks.

And the Lord urges us to learn the lesson even be it from this unjust, wicked man. He even goes so far as to parallel God’s avenging his people in much the same way for their “crying day and night unto him.” He wants survivors to be just as persistent in their cries to him for justice as this widow was to the wicked judge! Now there’s a lesson in contrasts for you! He actually insists we ‘bother’ him with our troubles then promises to avenge speedily!

I like to think that this is one way God acknowledges our need to make ample noise about our hurts, for surely he already knows when and if he will grant our urgent appeals. He doesn’t need it, WE DO. He actually gives us permission to cry out to him day and night! He even considers it an act of faith on our part! I love knowing that he wants us to be real more than he expects us to be ‘right’.

So, for those of you who question why there are survivor groups for those who have been abused by people who claim to follow Christ,

For those who tire of all the survivor status posts and links on their networks,

For those who may doubt their word,

For those who think them ‘bitter’,

For those who think them ‘unforgiving’,

For those who wish they’d shut up,

And even a message for those who have committed the abuses,

Here is God’s answer:

Cry as loud as you want! Cry as long as you want! WEAR. THEM. OUT.

I will avenge you speedily!

No better validation than that!

Just a little extra treat I stole from a facebook status. I don't know who authored it, so when and if I do, I will credit it.

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

BAPTIST 'BOOT CAMPS' IN NEED OF WATCHFUL EYES

2011-09-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

This is a non-comprehensive, somewhat rough but enlightening timeline of institutions influenced and patterned after the Lester Roloff 'homes' for wayward teens. This list was compiled for me by survivors of these homes, who are actively raising awareness about the abuses that has occurred in these homes often at the very hands of those entrusted with their care.

It was compiled and sent to me by Simone Jones, Heal 0nline.org Kansas Chapter Coordinator.

http://www.heal-online.org/teen.htm

My purpose for posting this information is to show parents who so easily place their trust in a man or men simply because they stand behind a pulpit and claim to have special insights and abilities for correcting their children, that they should NOT categorically place their trust in these men or anyone else without thoroughly investigating whether their advice is healthy.

If these men are truly interested in ministering the love and grace of God towards young people who often have only experienced the opposite, they will utilize whatever resources they can to accomplish that end. That would require doing the work needed to understand the root cause of the bad behavior and seek to win their trust rather than punishing to fix them. Any real and lasting change will come from the inside out not vise versa.

It is time to use some imagination mixed with sound knowledge of each young person's situation as well as considering the many, many extreme difficulties that young people face at this time to help them overcome their problematic behaviors.

We must also consider the fragility of their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual states in determining what is needed to minister to them for the long haul. After all, isn't that what ministering is? If these facilities are going to present themselves as 'ministries' then they are going to have to stop treating children and young people like hardened criminals. Using 'punishment' as the primary and often only means to 'discipline' is not ministering.

Our young people are our diamonds in the rough. They are also our adults of tomorrow and they are worth whatever time and resources it takes to help them transition from the youthful thinking and behaving to mature thinking and behaving. To rely on forceful, often barbaric practices not fit for use on an animal to usher our most precious, eternal young souls into productive, healthy adult lives is an indictment against our motives, and it also causes irreparable damage.

Lester Roloff

1944 Roloff starts his radio ministry-Family altar program

1946 Roloff founded Park Avenue christian day school

1954 Roloff purchases the KWBU radio station

1956 City of Refuge opens-Lexington-

Men and boys

1957 Jubilee home for women opens-Texas

1958 Lighthouse ministry opens on the Gulf Coast waterway

1964 City of Refuge relocated near Rio Grande valley

1966 City of Refuge grew, older men moved to Culloden, Georgia.

The younger boys remained in Rio Grande valley.

1968 Rebekah home for girls, Corpus Christi Texas.

1968 Bethesda home for girls, Hattiesberg Mississippi

1969 People Baptist church was founded, all of the homes were

moved to the 600 acres that Roloff purchased, upon the

erection of the new buildings.

2011 Roloff Ministries are still in operation

1971-Roloff's opposed the Texas Department of Public Welfare/Texas Department of Human Services. Roloff would not comply with orders to have Rebekah and Anchor homes licensed/ conforming to the department's secular regulations to avoid closure. Roloff and his associates opposed the order, considering it a breach of church-state separation. The controversy resulted in charges of neglect and brutality.

1973- Roloff’s homes closed

1974- Roloff incarcerated for five days in the Nueces County Jail. Roloff was granted a temporary reprieve in May, when the Texas Supreme Court ruled in his favor.

1975- The Texas Child Care and Licensing Act (a legislative bill believed to have been aimed specifically at Roloff Enterprises) was passed, renewing Roloff’s confict with the state.

1976- The Texas Child Care and Licensing Act became law, stating that children under 18 must be placed in child-care facilities licensed by the DHS. Roloff and his supporters again refused to comply, and despite favorable reports on the facilities by Attorney General John Hill and state welfare inspectors, DHS served a restraining order in May.

1976-In June Roloff went to jail, again for 5 days, in an effort to keep the homes open. In October, the homes were shut down, with many residents taken by police to the Texas Youth Prison and other state juvenile facilities. Public support for Roloff Enterprises continued to grow, and the homes were open throughout most of 1977 and 1978.

1977- Roloff and his associates staged a rally in Dallas called "Save Our Nation," attended by over 10,000 people, including 1,500 preachers, (one of them being the Rev. Mack Ford, a close associate,of whom Roloff was a mentor), and owner operator of New Bethany Home for Girls. Roloff did this acting on the advice of Hill and other attorneys

1978- Roloff took his case to the United States Supreme Court, which upheld the Texas law.

1979 -The state of Texas ordered Roloff to shut down the homes unless he submitted to a DHS license. Roloff sent the residents to the ministry's homes in Georgia and Mississippi to avoid the state taking them to foster care/licensed group homes. He and his supporters staged a protest rally at People's Baptist Church, along with many prominent evangelists and laypeople from across the U.S., the event being named the "Christian Alamo".

1982- Roloff and female members of the “Honeybee Quartet” were killed when their plane crashed near Normangee, TX during a flight to a preaching and singing service. Wylie Cameron, an associate of Roloff’s since the 70’s, took over after Roloff’s his death.

Wylie &Faye Cameron-Roloff Homes/New Beginnings

1970 Wylie and Faye Cameron-Run the Rebekah home for

Lester Roloff

1982 Upon Roloffs death, the Camerons take over.

1985 The Camerons move the Rebekah home for girls, and

Anchor home for boys to Missouri.

1986- George Bush (gov. of Texas) invited Wiley Cameron to Texas to meet with his faith-based committee. Bush introduced his faith-based initiative. Cameron joined the board of directors of TACCCA (Texas Organization of Christian Child Care Agencies), and Roloff’s schools became accredited. The Rebekah home was moved back from Missouri toTexas. Soon Cameron's schools were back in trouble for allegations of child abuse. Cameron was jailed for refusing to turn over records to investigators. His wife Faye was barred for life from working with kids in Texas. Half the detained girls were sent home to their parents. The other half packed up and moved back to Missouri, boarding in an improvised dormitory on the property of an unaffiliated, yet similar, home for troubled boys while looking for a new permanent location to resume operations.

2001- The Camerons purchased property in Pace, Florida, another state where they could operate without regulation or interference, under the umbrella of the Florida Association of Christian Child-Care Agencies (FACCCA.)

Bob & Betty Wills- Bethesda Home for girls

1967 Bethesda home for girls opens, Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

Burt & Dorothy Barnwell operate it.

1970 Bob and Betty Wills take over running the girls home.

1982 At the Bethesda home for girls, pregnant girls were beaten, and ridiculed for having sex out of wedlock.

http://www.nytimes.com/1982/03/05/us/home-s-ex-inmates-tell-of-beatings.html

1982 lawsuit filed against the Wills for beating pregnant girl.

Former residents of a "Christian home" for troubled girls have asserted in a lawsuit here that they were beaten, denied adequate meals and "brainwashed."

The charges were made in affidavits and testimony in Federal District Court today, in a suit seeking the release of all the residents of the Bethesda Home for Girls Inc. of Hattiesburg, Miss. The facility is affiliated with a network of "Christian homes" in which Lester Roloff, a Texas evangelist, plays a supporting role.

http://www.rickross.com/reference/bethesda/bethesda1.html

1985 Bethesda home for girls closes

1985 Bob and Betty Wills overlooked another abusive boarding school called Christian life boarding academy

1987 Christian life boarding academy closed for abuse

Bob & Betty Wills- Mountain Park Academy

1987 Bob & Betty Wills open Mountain Park. Wayne County,

Missouri

Wills opened Mountain Park some time after he began buying the school's 164-acre tract in Wayne County in August 1987. Until that year, he had operated the Christian Life Boarding Academy south of Hattiesburg, Miss.

http://www.rickross.com/reference/mountain_park/mountain_park17.html

1996 Death at Mountain park academy

http://www.rickross.com/reference/mountain_park/mountain_park21.html

2003 Bob and Betty Wills accused of giving children Thorazine

http://nospank.net/stilley.htm

2004 Mountain Park academy closes

http://www.rickross.com/reference/mountain_park/mountain_park30.html

Mr. & Mrs Bill Mc Namera- New Beginnings girls academy

2011 New Beginnings Girls Academy is still in operation.

The Mc Nameras, both former residents of the Roloff homes for adults, took over the Rebekah home after graduating the Roloff program (Jubilee Home for women and the City of Refuge home for men). Wylie Cameron was still president, but the McNameras ran the Rebekah Home.

2001- Legislation allowing private, faith-based homes to operate without state regulation came up for renewal and was not renewed. Cameron closed the home rather than accept state regulation/oversight. And to avoid legal implications/association with the old Rebekah Home, the McNamaras and Camerons assumed independence from People's Baptist Church, renaming the home "New Beginnings Girls Academy." Wiley Cameron remained president, but had little to do with daily operations of the renamed home. McNamara and his wife remained as on-site directors. Eventually, Wiley Cameron resigned his position, giving the McNamaras full control.

2007- Abuse allegations began to surface at New Beginnings, prompting investigations. The home was moved from Pace, FL to LaRussell, MO to evade state interference and expand their enterprise. Shortly after moving, they also began admitting teenage boys.

Jack Patterson-Reclamation Ranch

1972 Jack Patterson Meets Roloff

1972 Patterson becomes employed by Roloff at the Lighthouse

Academy, Corpus Christi, Texas. He stays for three years

1975 Patterson opens Reclamation Ranch, Empire, Alabama. He

also opens Rachel Academy, in a neearby county

2011 Jack Patterson is still in operation at his new location

2008- a 17 yr. old boy reports being abused and tortured at Reclamation Ranch, prompting an investigation. Patterson, and his employee Michael Parkinson are both charged with aggravated child abuse. Soon after charges were filed, a plea for $40,000 to help with legal fees was posted on one of his websites. “Any of you who know Bro. Jack know that there is no way for him to allow any type of harm against anyone."

2009- Patterson is convicted of “verbal harassment”, ordered to pay a $500 fine and to not re-open “Reclamation Ranch” in Blount Co.

2010- a fire guts a three-story dormitory on the property formerly named “Bethesda Home” (originally of Roloff Enterprises), before remodeling was completed, and the facility re-named “Reclamation Ranch”.

2011- Evidence points to “Dr.” Patterson moving to Michigan and re-opening “Reclamation Ranch”.

Mack Ford- New Bethany Homes for boys and girls

1972 Mack Ford meets Lester Roloff

1972 After being 'ordained' into the ministry by Roloff, Ford opens the New Bethany Home for Wayward Girls. Arcadia, LA.

1978 Mack Ford opens the New Bethany Home for Boys in Longstreet, La.

2011 Olen King is still operating Second Chance Ranch

1979- Ford is unable to avoid clashes with the Bienville Parish Sheriff’s Office. Legal documents regarding appeals, charges, etc. are filed (some federally) going back as far as 1979, perhaps earlier.

1981- L.D. (Larry Rapier) is arrested at the New Bethany Boys Home (Longstreet, LA, an extension of the girl’s home in Arcadia) for cruelty to children, then released on a $15K bond.

1982- the Longstreet home is closed down and the boy’s records destroyed to keep Child Protective Services from finding and interviewing them. The New Bethany Boys Home is thereafter moved to property purchased by Mack Ford in Walterboro, SC the appointed director being Olen (Olin) King another Ford and Roloff associate

1982 Mack Ford opens another boys home in Walterboro, S.C.

operated by Olen King

1984- The New Bethany Boys Home is raided by the Colleton Co. Sheriff’s Office due to allegations of abuse. Olen King, said to be a former employee of Lester Roloff (as well as a few other male employees) were arrested. “Attorneys for the Kings took an hour and 45 minutes explaining the use of handcuffs, rope and holding cell..”. David Arbitelle, former school principal (1981-1984) of New Bethany Home for Girls (Arcadia) and associate pastor of New Bethany Baptist Church “defended the school and said its sole purpose was rehabilitation”.

King later pleads “no contest” and was convicted of unlawful imprisonment, given a 2 yr. suspended sentence and 5 yrs. probation.

Olen King- Second Chance Ranch

1988 Olen King opens Second Chance Ranch in Danbury, N.C.

King Family Ministries

2011 Olen King is still in operation

Public record shows that Olen King’s’ boys home is still operating. Penny Ford, daughter of Mack and Thelma Ford, married Olen Kings son, and works at the Second Chance Ranch.

Herman Fountain-Bethel Boys Academy

1977 Herman Fountain works for Roloff in the Rebekah girls

home. Corpus Christi, Texas

1978 Herman Fountain opens Bethel Boys Academy, Lucedale,

Mississippi.

2011 The Fountains are still in operation under a different name,

and now are associated with WWASPS

1988 The director of a fundamentalist children's home and two assistants were indicted by a state grand jury today on charges of assaulting officers who raided the home June 13 and took custody of children said to have been abused and neglected

Children were removed from one of Herman Fountain's homes.

Mr. Fountain, who has claimed to be a former heroin addict and practitioner of witchcraft, has said he had as many as 120 children living at his 28-acre compound outside Lucedale.

He contends that his right to freedom of religion exempts him from any state oversight. But last June, a George County Youth Court judge, looking into allegations of beatings and other abuse, ordered the state Department of Public Welfare to take custody of the Bethel residents.

Some state law officers have accused Mr. Fountain of ordering the children to flee the compound, an accusation he denies. It took officials several days to round up the children.

The minister is accused of punching law-enforcement officers after they stormed the locked church in search of the children. Several witnesses, including reporters, saw Mr. Fountain swing at offices.

http://www.nytimes.com/1988/10/26/us/minister-is-indicted-in-assault.html

State welfare officials raided Bethel Home for Children— the academy's predecessor— and removed 72 abused and neglected children. A judge closed the home in 1990. Herman Fountain reopened it in 1994 as Bethel Boys' Academy.

1999 bethel girls academy opens in Petal Mississippi

http://www.nospank.net/n-n49r.htm

The director of the Bethel Girls Academy says he voluntarily shut down his school after allegations of abuse on Wednesday.

Herman Fountain Jr. says he's released the school's 50 residents into the custody of the Department of Human Services while the academy remains temporarily closed.

On Wednesday 11 girls ran away from the school, claiming they'd been abused.

Sources say all 50 girls spent last night in sleeping bags at the Forrest County DHS office. DHS will not confirm that a state investigation is underway, saying only that the department does respond to all complaints about state-inspected facilities.

Officials say when there are allegations of abuse, the state health department, DHS, the attorney general's office, and local law enforcement are required to work together.

Sources say the 11 girls who ran away have gone back to their homes, while the remaining residents wait at the DHS office to be picked up by their parents.

http://www.wdam.com/story/2965137/bethel-shuts-down-after-girls-flee?nav=1Pw2WWIb&redirected=true

Clarion Ledger - excerpt: A school for troubled teenagers was temporarily closed Thursday and its 44 students were released into state custody. "For right now we're going to close the doors," said Bethel Girls Academy director Herman Fountain Jr. "We are planning on opening back up, but we've got to get everything taken care of first." The closure came a day after 11 students fled from the facility. Some girls said they had been physically and verbally abused by staff members, and one of the girls' mothers said she plans to press charges against Fountain for assaulting a minor. "The contract was broken when he broke my daughter's wrist," said Miami resident Angela Roberts, whose daughter, Angenika McNeil, 16, was injured while at Bethel. "I want him prosecuted for what he did to my child. He hides behind the word 'restrain,' but that word means 'abuse' to him."

http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/emancipation/links-to-stories.htm

Bethel Boys Academy in Mississippi, (most recently going by the name of Eagle Point Christian Academy,) has strings to WWASPS. A riot occurred there this month that left seven teenagers injured.

http://www.rickross.com/reference/teenboot/teenboot41.html

Hattiesburg American - excerpt: Six students remain in custody at Forrest County Juvenile Detention Center on charges of disorderly conduct after a riot Friday night at Eagle Point Christian Academy, formerly Bethel Boys Academy, in Lucedale. Seven other students, or cadets, at the home for troubled teenagers from across the country were taken to George County Hospital where six were treated for minor injuries and released to school officials. George County Sheriff Garry Welford said the students were breaking windows and tearing up beds, chairs and other items during the Friday night incident. Students told Welford that the riot was sparked by a rumor that state investigators might arrive at the school over the weekend. The school has a history of abuse allegations and state investigations dating to 1988 when 72 children were removed from the school by state welfare officials. At the time the school was called Bethel Home for Children. In 1990, a judge closed the school - then owned by Herman Fountain Sr. In 1994, Fountain reopened the school as Bethel Boys Academy. The institution's name was changed from Bethel Boys Academy to Eagle Point Christian Academy in February.

http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/emancipation/links-to-stories.htm

Mississippi Press - excerpt: Christy Depasquale has her twin 17-year-old sons at home with her in Oklahoma after they spent more than a month at Eagle Point Christian Academy, formerly known as Bethel Boys Academy. Depasquale was concerned for the boys' welfare after hearing of the riot that took place at Eagle Point last weekend. During the riot, windows were broken, bunks overturned and a barrack was trashed. Depasquale's sons reportedly had "plenty of bruises and cuts and scrapes" when she picked them up. One of the boys reportedly has a bruise on his back where an Eagle Point staff member allegedly "grabbed him and slammed his fist in his back" because he was talking. The twins also told their mother that the kitchen of Eagle Point was infested with roaches and rats, and that if there was trouble during mealtime, the boys either couldn't finish eating or were given 30 seconds to finish their meal. The boys also alleged that when the kids got into fights, the staff members would just ignore it and leave the room. One of Depasquale's sons was in a fight, and the brothers said the instructors just stood by and watched. The boys also told their mother that mace was being used frequently at Eagle Point when anybody steps out of line. Depasquale said she felt Eagle Point was misrepresented to parents. She said they didn't provide a 100 percent safe and secure environment, there's a lack of supervision, and the education is not what it should be.

http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/emancipation/links-to-stories.htm

Bethel Boys Academy in Mississippi, (most recently going by the name of Eagle Point Christian Academy,) has strings to WWASPS. A riot occurred there this month that left seven teenagers injured.

http://www.rickross.com/reference/teenboot/teenboot41.html

Confirmed as a WWASPS programGulf Coast Academy in Lucedale, Mississippi (formerly Bethel Girls' Academy, Bethel Boys' Academy, and Eagle Point Christian Academy)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WWASPS

Ron Williams-Hephzibah house

Ron Williams meets Roloff and feels he is called by God to

open a girls home.

1971 Hephzibah House was founded in Wynona Lake, Indiana

2011 Hephzipha House is still operating

Upon opening, Hephzibah House (HH) took in homeless/drug-addicted/alcoholic adult women. Williams had previously worked for the Health Department dealing with women having similar issues. The women lived at HH voluntarily.

Late 1970's- HH began taking in young girls, with several of the adult women residents staying on as staff, onefor as long as 25 yrs.

Hephzibah house is still operating to this day, taken over a few years ago by Williams’ son Don. HH has faced many allegations of abuse by former residents, and is still one of the longest continuously running schools t was patterned after Lester Roloff’s Lighthouse (boys), and Rebekah (girls), taking girls as young as 12-17 1/2 , requiring a stay of 15 month. Some girls have stayed as long as 3 years or more.

Here is the link to the video of recent report on Anderson Cooper 360 titled "Ungodly Discipline"
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2011/09/01/ac-tuchman-ungodly-home.cnn?iref=videosearch

Victory Christian Academy- Jay, Florida, Michael Palmer-director. Home now closed due to abuse and death of a girl who was a resident. Book written by Michelle Ulrich about her experience as a resident.
http://www.heal-online.org/victory.htm
http://reformatvictory.com/
http://girlsofvcanews.blogspot.com/2010/03/research-on-tough-love-christian-reform.html